Back, back, back it up.

Yesterday, my husband said, "You should just write a blog post. It doesn't have to be anything great, just write from the heart." First things first, husband, it does have to be great--because I have standards. And secondly, my heart doesn't have anything special to say right now! As some of you may know, I've been struggling to keep this blog going. Not due to a lack of desire, passion or content, but mostly because other priorities are just that, taking priority. 

Also, there is this one super infuriating thing that happened to me (and it's totally my fault) and if one more person gives me sh*t for it, I'm going to scream. 

...My hard drive crashed.

The hard drive that held all of my photos and videos of Lulu's first year. 

The one that had the album of all her "firsts" so I could make a Year One photo album right after her first birthday. 

The one that I hadn't backed up to my external hard drive in over, oh.... 11 months or so. 

So, on the morning of Luisa's first birthday, when my computer wouldn't boot up and there was a horrible clicking noise coming from the hard drive (*gasp* platters were off, for you techies.) And I lost it. Tears, shaking, clenched fists, the works. Then, because I was afraid to find out that I did actually lose the photos and videos that were most dear to me, I proceeded to do nothing with my laptop for three solid months. Three months of no photo editing software or a computer that would accept my SD card. Three months of not taking my nice camera places because I couldn't do anything with the photos anyway. 

In some ways it was liberating. We took Lulu to the aquarium for the first time and while I snapped some cell phone pics of her, I wasn't distracted playing with the settings on my fancy camera trying to capture the perfect shot. 

Well, I finally bit the bullet, I followed a lovely YouTube tutorial instructing me how to remove my hard drive. I ordered a new solid state drive (thanks friends, for all of your sound advice during this process) and sent my sad HD off to a recovery company to see what files could be restored. 

About two weeks and $800 later, it looks like I'll be able to get most of my stuff back. I really wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy and if you learn anything from this blog post, it's that backing up your files is important. I can tell you from experience that you won't realize just how important it is until your stomach drops to the floor and you think everything is gone.

Marissa says...not much

It's been quiet on here for a while, and I'm sorry. I don't have a good excuse. I have plenty of lame excuses like, "I have a baby. I'm still trying to get settled into my new home. I just started a new job. I haven't been cooking because of items A, B, and C above." But I really believe that you make the time for the things that you love to do and I haven't been making time for this. I love this blog, I really do. I love having a place where I can go all "stream of consciousness" and no one seems to mind. (Well, at least you don't tell me if you do.) But over the past year, sometimes it has felt like a burden. Like a thing I have to do, instead of something I want to do.

Three years ago when I started this thing, (good Lord, I can't believe I've had this blog for three years!?) I had no idea how it might turn out. Of course, I had grandiose dreams of turning it into a sustainable career with awesome paid advertisers and free merchandise coming to my front door. But in reality, I knew that was unlikely. While I have been approached by various companies/individuals over the years inquiring about paid content and advertising, I've never been tempted by an offer that seemed too sweet to pass up. Plus, I always kind of felt that if I went down that road that I would taint this thing that is perfectly mine. This sacred space that is completely and utterly in my control. I don't know, maybe I'm just being dramatic. Maybe I'm just scared about what would happen if I really actually tried to make money from it.

Anyway. I don't know where I'm going with this...with this post and with this blog. I'd love to say that I'm recommitting, that I'm promising to post X times a week moving forward, but I'm not going to do that. What I will say, is that even though it's been quiet on here, it still matters to me. I still take photos that I want to share with you, I still cook delicious food, I still want this to be a safe space for me and I really don't intend to let this blog die. 

That is all. XOXO, 
M-Dubs

Before Baby - An Open Letter to My Husband

In the interest of full disclosure, I obtained Bry's permission to share this with you first so technically it wasn't written with the intention of being an open letter. I was feeling a little lot emotional this morning and had to get a few things off my chest...

Before Baby - An Open Letter to My Husband 

Before our lives change so completely that we quickly forget what they used to look like, I wanted to share a few things with you:

Number one. I love you.
I love you so incredibly much that those three words don't even seem to do it justice. I love you so much that I'm sobbing uncontrollably while typing this because a) pregnancy hormones and b) I'm so overcome and grateful that I found you -- that the universe and God so divinely made our paths cross so that we could go through this journey together. I wouldn't want to and can't imagine doing it with anyone else. Thank you for being my person. Thank you for being exactly the one that I was supposed to fall in love with.

Number two. I'm scared. 
But not in the way that you might think. I'm scared in the way that I'm grieving "us" -- the couple that we used to be, before we've even morphed into the new "us." The parent version of "us." Don't get me wrong. We're totally going to kill the parent game. We've already made our pact to not fall into the oh-so-common trap of "we are parents now, we can't do that fun stuff anymore." That's BS, we can do whatever the hell we want, we're grown adults. It's just that as previously mentioned, you're my buddy, my roll dog, my ride or die, my drinking pal, my dancing partner. You're the person that I can just exchange a glace with at a party when someone is being annoying/weird/obnoxious and you'll just nod and smirk and I know that you're thinking and feeling the exact same thing at the the exact same moment. And I don't want that to ever go away. Let's make sure that never goes away.

Number three. I'm so excited. 
I know that you're nervous about the details of parenting -- how to hold a baby, how to change a diaper. Don't worry. You're more than capable and there's going to be a very short learning curve for you there, I can promise you that. What I'm so looking forward to is seeing you as a dad. Seeing you tell your ridiculous made-up stories to our child, seeing you teach him/her how to throw a football, making him/her laugh uncontrollably at your goofy voices (like you often make me do.) You see, even though you've had your doubts about being ready for children, it's been so obvious to me that you were meant to do this. You're a protector. A doer. A worrier. An entertainer. Don't you see that all of those qualities are exactly the same things that make someone a great parent and father? I've seen it all along. 

Number four. Thank you. 
I don't say it enough. Thank you for everything that you do for me, for my family, for our well-being. Thank you for working so hard so that we can have the home and life that we do. Thank you for always taking the initiative to get shit done -- especially when I'm being lazy or forgetful. Thank you for handling so much of the minutiae (the customer service calls, the bills, etc.) Thank you for being an amazing friend and husband and thank you for putting up with my mess (both literally and figuratively.) Thank you for pushing me to be a better person every day. In just about a week, we will have been "officially" a couple for eight years. Eight freaking years!? And while there have been so many ups and downs in all of that time, I would not change a thing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for all of that. 

So, sometime in the very near future -- it could be a day from now, it could be weeks from now -- things are going to be a little different for us. I'm going to be a hormonal mess (more so than usual,) we're going to be a little sleep-deprived, we're going to have moments of frustration, and moments of pure blissful happiness. But please, always remember that I am so in love with you. That "we" are still "us." That together we can handle ANYTHING. And that everyday I thank God for you. 

I love you and don't know what I would do without you. 

---- 

And in classic BryGuy fashion, this is the response back that I received complete with a gif. LOL

"That's amazing. Let's have this baby. That was better than any pre-game or half-time locker room speech I have ever heard. I am ready to run through a wall. I love you! LET'S GO!"

Six tips to totally own this Thanksgiving

1. Properly prep your tummy. You might be thinking it's a good idea to skip breakfast and save space for all that Thanksgiving deliciousness that is about to come. You're wrong. Dead wrong. While it might seem counter-intuitive, you're going to want to eat a hearty breakfast when you wake up. This is going to give your stomach the proper stretching and digestion time it needs to be ready for the big game (and I'm not talking about football.)

2. Your attire selection is of utmost importance. It is perfectly acceptable to wear your dad jeans with the elastic waistband at Thanksgiving, or make a trip to the storage unit for your old maternity pants. Thanksgiving is not a time to be a fashionista, it's a time to go HAM and give your food-pit a proper beating. I'm not saying you should look like a slob, but underneath your nice blouse or sweater vest, you can be hiding the most heinous of strechy waist-band pants. For goodness sake, you're about to be carrying a 10-lb food baby, give that puppy room to grow! 

3. Portion control - no bigger than a golf ball! Don't make the rookie mistake of stocking up on mashed potatoes, turkey and stuffing and then realize that you still have 10 more things to add to your plate but only 2 sq. inches of space left. Stick to the golf ball rule, everything on your plate should be a portion no larger than a golf ball. I mean, I know green beans aren't the star of Thanksgiving but you owe it to yourself (and your host) to try a little of everything! After you finish your first plate of food go back for the things you loved and throw the golf ball rule out the window. 

4. Lend a helping hand in your own way. We're not all master chefs, and that's okay. If you have no place in a kitchen, stay out of the kitchen. In fact, I advise everyone stay out of the kitchen except the host until clean up time (otherwise you're just going to get in the way.) But, you can still offer a helping hand in other ways -- offer to bring ice or pies from your neighborhood bakery, play bartender, help to clear plates after the meal, buy a flower arrangement or nice candle for your host. Just don't be a waste of space. 

5. Adhere to a schedule. You might have a few different obligations on Thanksgiving. You may have to spend some time with the in-laws, eat dinner with your own family, and potentially drop by to see some old friends that are in town for the holiday... make a schedule for your day and stick to it like an Army Ranger on a special ops mission. My schedule will go something like this (I'm still ironing out some of the details) 

• 9:00 a.m. - arise to the aroma of herbs and turkey in the air
• 9:30 a.m. - indulge in a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon and toast - consider eating a piece of fruit but go back for more bacon instead. (see tip 1 above) 
• 10:00 a.m. - watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV while helping to prep food
• 12:00 p.m. - watch the beginning of The National Dog Show and pick out your favorite dog, continue to help mom prep appetizers and sides
• 12:30 p.m. - shower and put on real clothes (see tip 2 above)
• 1:50 p.m. - catch end of dog show, see if your dog won. 
• 2:00 p.m. - drive to in-laws' house (limit yourself to 3-4 bites of appetizers, nothing enters your "pie hole" at in-laws after 3:00 p.m.) 
• 3:30 p.m. - head back to parent's house, call and make sure they don't have any last minute grocery/errand needs
• 4:00 p.m. - indulge in some more appetizers 
• 4:45 p.m. - help to put out food and get everyone seated, say grace and go around the table so everyone can share what they are thankful for
• 5:00 p.m. - begin to load up first plate of 2014 Thanksgiving meal (see tip 3 above)
• 5:20 p.m. - think about going back for seconds - pick one or two things you really want just a little more of and put them on your plate (panic because you realize you might not have room for dessert if you eat any more mashed potatoes but say, "eff it, I'll throw up if needed to make room for pie)
• 5:30 p.m. - enjoy the silence at the table and the sound of loosening belts
• 5:45 p.m. - remark how crazy it is that you cook for two full days but manage to eat in less than an hour
• 5:50 p.m. - help to clear the table and set out dessert. 
• 6:00 p.m. - eat dessert
• 6:10 p.m. - men exit table and plop on the couch to watch football - women chit-chat and then clear rest of the table and start to clean up kitchen 
• 6:30 p.m. - uncle starts snoring loudly while sitting on couch 
• 7:00 p.m. - guests start to exit, you finally snag a seat on the couch
• 8:00 p.m. - change into pajamas
• 8:05 p.m. - pull out a game to play with family
• 9:00 p.m. - go to bed

6. Remember the big picture. Thanksgiving is a time for reflection and expression of gratitude. I know it can be stressful to be around your crazy family. I know your mom is bugging out because so and so is bringing a date and didn't tell her until the last minute and there's no room at the table. Just remember, no matter your life situation, you're luckier and more blessed than someone else out there. You have food to eat, a roof over your head, friends/family/acquaintances/frenemies to eat with. Hell,  I think you're doing pretty good. Let Thanksgiving set the stage for your holiday season, keep your composure and try to stay worry-free and most importantly, thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving homies!

Some explaining to do

You may have seen my post yesterday, or if we're friends on social media, possibly even a little earlier. I think I owe the readers of this blog a little apology. Because I've had this big thing on my mind that I couldn't share with you all, it felt almost artificial to write about other things during this time. So, the blog took a hit in the content department. I slacked off on compiling my ten happy moments, because honestly, there's this ONE happy thing that tops them all. And also, the exhaustion, oh the exhaustion, I hardly had the energy to change out of my work clothes and into pajamas when I walk in the door after work, let alone research topics, cook, take and edit photos, and write amazing blog posts. So again, I apologize. It is my hope and commitment going forward not to let this thing take the back seat any more.

With that being said, I think I also have a few things to address. Yes, we're having a baby. Yes, that means that eventually I'll be a mother. No, that does not mean this will be a "mommy blog." This is a "lifestyle" blog. Whatever the hell that means. But to me it means that it's about MY LIFE (and style). So will I talk about things related to pregnancy and being a parent? YES, because they are parts of my life. But will I also continue to post content completely unrelated to those things? Absolutely.

This is a generic brand video.

Have you seen this? It's brilliant. It's about everything and nothing at the same time. It could represent basically any Fortune 100 company's advertising methods. My colleague shared the original poem with me a while ago and loved it so much it's hanging on the bulletin board in my office as we speak. To me, it's a reminder that if you try to appeal to everyone, you connect with no one. 

"Lest you think we're a faceless entity, look at all these attractive people. Here's some of them talking and laughing. And close ups of hands passing cans to each other, in a setting that evokes community service."

But I will tell you this, I'd buy any product or service that used that baby in a bear costume in its advertising. I'm simple like that. 

Valentine's Day, Shmalentine's Day...

VDay is just like...the worst. The cheesy commercials, the overdone displays in the stores with the ugly stuffed animals and terrible boxes of chocolates, and all the pink and red (which really is a color combo no-no, in my book.) 

I'm so over it, I wish St. Valentine would just pack up and go back wherever the hell he came from -- up Mr. Hallmark's ass, I think. Well B and I are boycotting Vday again this year. In the past, we didn't do anything because we always celebrated our "made-up anniversary" on February 1. But now, we just really have no good excuse. 

So, on Friday, you can find us sitting on the couch, ordering food, drinking a bottle of wine... each, and watching all 13 episodes of House of Cards Season 2. Doesn't that sound romantic? 

I suppose I wouldn't mind receiving a cheesy greeting card wherein BryGuy professes his undying love for me and vows to jump in front of a Mac truck to save my life, if the opportunity ever presents itself... wouldn't that be sweet? Hint, hint! I'd save it in my memory box forever and ever. 

Do you have any special plans with your Valentine? Are you going out to a nice dinner or keeping it low key? 

A bit of clarification

Yesterday's post, about my new daily ritual to stay positive, came off a bit melodramatic. I can seen that now. I have a teeny tiny smidgen of self-awareness somewhere deep, deep inside of me. 

To clear the record, I AM a very happy person. In fact, I love my life! Every day I think about how blessed I am and a part of me wonders how it could possibly stay this good forever. 

I guess what I was trying to say, was that I am an easily irritated person. I have less than an ounce of patience in me. I accept this as one of my many flaws. That leads to me constantly huffing and puffing because people are rude (see my miss manners part I & part II posts) and it leads to inexplicable amounts of road rage. Thank you papa, I believe I inherited my road rage from you, you were always good at parenting by example.

I also have bitchy resting face disorder. Which means that even though I'm feeling joy and bliss on the inside, I'm really emanating an aura that says "don't f*ck with me." 

One of my 2014 personal goals was to be more positive. 

To me, that means that I don't let the daily little things get to me as much. I try to be more free-spirited and easy going, and I smile more! The chanting thing is my attempt at putting myself in a good head space to accomplish those small feats. 

So with that being said, I leave you with this. It's sure to make you smile. :)

A new daily ritual... it involves chanting

I have a new "thing." It falls in line with my one of my 2014 goals to be more positive. This morning, on the way to work, I started a little internal mantra that went something like this:

Today will be a great day. 
Today will be a positive day. 
Today will be a happy day. 
Today will be a healthy day. 
Today will be a productive day.
Today will be a stress-free day. 
Today will be a great day. 
Today will be a positive day. 
Today will be a happy day. 
Today will be a healthy day. 
Today will be a productive day.
Today will be a stress-free day. 
Today will be a ....

Okay, you get it. 

So, I did this little chant (in my head, of course) for the four block walk from the train station to my office. Usually, that four block trek is a primary source of frustration that could potentially start my day off on the wrong foot. People walk slow, people stop abruptly in front of me, people don't move over to the right to let other people pass, cars block the crosswalk, people don't say thank you when you hold the door for them, people just.... frustrate me. 

So, as I was repeating this mantra in my head over and over again, I stopped thinking about all the people that weren't doing exactly what I wanted them to be doing, and I started just thinking positive thoughts. 

Well, so far things are going good. I feel like this little act in the morning put me in a good head space. And, I decided I'm going to make it a part of my morning ritual. 

I think I saw a TED talk a while back (or maybe it was an article?) that talked about how people with bad body image should look in the mirror and compliment themselves out loud everyday, and gradually they will have higher self-esteem. I suppose this is kind of like that. If I think about how it's going to be a wonderful day then it's more likely to actually be one. Or at least, I won't turn every tiny little thing that goes wrong into a monumental issue that ruins my day.

I really admire those people. You know. The people that are always smiling, that people that just love life, the people who always seem visibly upbeat and happy and excited about everything. Maybe if I pretend to be one of those people, I'll eventually just become one of those people. 

That's the plan at least. 

I hope you have a good, stress-free, happy, healthy, productive, energy-filled, positive day! 

What sort of things do you do to stay happy and up-beat? Tell me all of your secrets happy people! 

Haters they gonna hate

A brief narrative about how I plan to contribute more positive energy to society. 

Me time. And how to have a relaxing bath.

Sometimes you just need a time out -- time away from the television, away from technology, to sit back and really relax. I'm pretty bad about doing that. I'm the person in front of the computer, with the television on in the background, with my phone on the coffee table next to me. I rarely give myself time to just unwind and stop thinking/doing. 

Last night I decided that I was in desperate need of some "me time." We moved into our new place almost a year ago and I've yet to use our beautiful tub. I'm not typically a "bath" person. They make me sweaty (which defeats the purpose of getting clean in a bath) but since there's a chill in the air at night now, I thought a bath would make me feel all warm and cozy before hopping into bed. 

How to start a lifestyle or personal blog

As I celebrate the one year birthday of this here blog, I thought I'd provide some unsolicited advice to those of you that might be thinking about starting a blog. There are a few things I've learned along the way that might be useful in helping you avoid making the same mistakes that I've made! 

Happy 28th to me!

Yesterday, I rang in my 28th year of life! It was a marvelous day, that involved lots of love from family and friends via phone calls, texts, and Facebook notes, a few too many cocktails, and a feast of a dinner at a fabulous Philadelphia restaurant (a separate post on that meal to come shortly). 

I'm not going to lie, 28 is a little scary. I still feel like I just barely turned 21, but I guess I'm supposed to act more grown up and mature now. Lots of people my age are getting married and starting families, and while I occasionally experience a little baby fever, the idea of having a real live one to call my very own is terrifying! It seems like 30 is just around the corner and while I don't really fear the idea of turning older, I think I was in denial about it actually happening. 

What I really want to say is that I love my life at age 28. I have a wonderful husband, a career that I enjoy, family and friends that are supportive, and probably too much fun. I'm feeling really blessed and humbled by it all. I'm especially grateful for BryGuy, he keeps me young and smacks me when I'm being all girly about getting older. I knew I married a younger chap for a reason!

Also, in case you were wondering, my anti-aging secret is to eat one gold-plated apple a day. Oh, you don't have golden apples readily available? Too bad for you. 

A rough week

It's been a rough one. As you can see I've taken almost a full week's vacation from this here blog. Not because I planned it that way. I'd appear much more put-together had I actually planned it, but instead I find myself feeling guilty that I haven't posted anything, but lacking the creativity to develop original content. So, I decided to come here and ramble on to you about how I haven't anything good to write, and therefore haven't written anything. 

I'm sorry. 

Actually, I shouldn't apologize because you probably didn't notice anyway so that's just self-indulgent. 

Moving on to why it's been a rough week:

Miss Manners - Part II

A while back, I did a post on the modern day rules for chivalry and manners and by George, I think it's time for a refresher course. If you don't recall, this is written from the perspective of "If Marissa ruled the world..." Clearly, it would be a far happier and much more orderly world if that was the case. 

Read on to see the rules for exiting a plane, walking on a sidewalk, and asking your friend for a favor. 

It's not all perfect. In fact, it's not even close.

Man, life is hard sometimes. I feel like I'm juggling a dozen balls right now, and when you're doing that, it's probably not going to end well. Between work, this here blog, the new camera, getting to the gym, visiting friends from faraway lands, and trying to cook and keep a clean house, something is bound to slip through the cracks. That something is the cleanliness of my home. See exhibit A (the photo above.)

Babies on my brain

I've got a mild to severe case of baby fever. Oh, you haven't heard of it? Well, it's this condition where every time a miniature human passes by, you get all choked up for no apparent reason and you want to scoop them up and squeeze them and shower them with kisses. It's super serious and can be fatal. 

Quit slackin' and make it happen!

I saw this while perusing the interwebs today, and it spoke to me. 

I, like so many people I know, am guilty of complaining about a situation instead of doing something to change it.

Should We Get A Dog?

What do you think? Should we? I think I already know the answer to this. I have a feeling that you are probably going to say YES. I can hear it now, "But Marissa, they are so cuddly, and cute, and man's best friend, and it will keep you company when your husbands away, and it'll protect your house, and blah blah blah." I KNOW dogs are wonderful, I really do. 

My family had dogs growing up and they were awesome. Cody was super lovable, he had very little brain power, and he just wanted you to pet him or hold his hand. Seriously. He liked to hold peoples hands.... Abbey was kind of moody, some might even call her bitchy or a princess. She didn't like to go outside when it was wet and she was really picky about how her bed was set up, but she was super attuned to human emotion, like a little nurse dog. Both have since passed away, but I still think of them fondly.

True Confession: I Cried at the Gym

Yup. You read that title right. I bawled my eyes out last night...
At the gym. 
In front of everyone. 

To make a long story short, I failed at something yesterday. And it totally sucked.

I'm not a big crier so, to me, this is kind of a big deal. I probably cry maybe five times a year (and I'm not counting those times I tear up for a sappy commercial or a heartfelt romcom, those aren't real cries). But serious cries are usually the result of death, pain, or an emotional breakdown typically induced by exhaustion.

So which category did last night's fall into? Most definitely it was an emotional breakdown induced by exhaustion.