Miss Manners - Part II

A while back, I did a post on the modern day rules for chivalry and manners and by George, I think it's time for a refresher course. If you don't recall, this is written from the perspective of "If Marissa ruled the world..." Clearly, it would be a far happier and much more orderly world if that was the case. 

Read on to see the rules for exiting a plane, walking on a sidewalk, and asking your friend for a favor. 

Exiting a plane, train, or bus
I get it, you're in a rush to get where ever the heck it is that you're going. The airplane finally lands and the doors are about to open, or the train/bus pulls into the station and you're itching at the bit to get off your butt. But you know what? You're not the only one anxious to exit. So here's how it goes. I don't care when you got in your seat, how much you paid for it, or if you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You don't get to get off the freaking plane/train/bus until the people in front of you get off. That's it. Plain and simple. 

This happens to me every. single. day. on the train into work and I'm about to go all exorcist on my fellow commuters.  

You shouldn't plow past another person just because you think you're so important that you can't wait for that sweet little granny to shuffle out from her seat. You can wait, and you should. You could also stop being so wrapped up in your stupid self that you even offer her a hand with her bags. But damnit, I keep forgetting, this is not Marissa's world and life isn't all unicorns and rainbows. 

Let's try to exercise a little patience people. 

There is a minor caveat to this rule. If the person knows they might take a while to gather their things and exit, (for instance, they have 2-year-old triplets and 75 diaper bags) they might wave you past them and let you go, in which case you should. Otherwise you're just putting pressure on them to hurry up. But that is the only, I repeat only, circumstance where you should ever exit a plane, train, or bus before someone that was seating in front of you. 

Walking down a crowded street
Follow the rules of the road. Stay to the right unless you're passing someone. Don't suddenly come to a halt mid-stride. Don't text and walk (you're really not that good at it... no one is). Be aware of the people around you. Don't carry on a conversation with a group of people in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. You get it. Be normal. Too much to ask? I know, I know... 

Asking a friend for a favor
Use a little tact. No one likes to be put in the position of being guilted into a "yes" or having to say "no" to a friend. It seems like lately, I've heard a lot of instances where people just downright ask for things from their friends/acquaintances and it becomes an uncomfortable situation for the person being asked. I understand every friendship is different, if I needed a favor from my sister or best friend, I wouldn't hesitate to just ask them outright and I know they would be honest if they couldn't or didn't feel like helping me out. The following example is for those friends who are close, but maybe who we aren't 100% blunt with. 

For instance, if you need a ride somewhere, instead of putting your friend on the spot, you might subtly say, "I'd love to join you for dinner tonight, unfortunately my car is in the shop, and I can't find a bus that gets me close to the restaurant." That gives your friend an opportunity to say, "Okay, lets do dinner next week instead." or "Don't be silly, I'll give you a ride!" 

Another example, you're going to visit out-of-town friends for a night and your babysitter backed out. Instead of asking, can we bring little Johnny with us? And making your friends feel like they have to say yes or no, you could say "Hey, I was really looking forward to our visit but our babysitter cancelled, so we might not be able to make it this weekend." This gives your friends the opportunity to schedule a different visit with you, or offer for you to just bring little Johnny along. 

You get it? By using this method, you're allowing your friend an option out that won't make them feel bad, and giving him/her an opportunity to extend a favor to you (without being asked). 

Did I miss any important ones??? 

Read more modern day rules for chivalry and manners

1 comment:

  1. Great post!!! This is especially ironic/funny to me because I literally just watched someone cut in front of you to get on the train yesterday evening and your face said exactly what I always think when that happens!


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