One Year of Lulu

Yesterday was June 2, which means Luisa is officially 16 months old, or as I like to say when people ask how old she is, "uhhh... a year and a few months...?" 

Since we're not totally terrible parents, we did throw her a little first birthday soiree with a small group of family and friends. I refused to put a lot of money or effort into a day that she wasn't even going to remember, but my mom and sister came to the rescue and made sure the party wasn't a total flop. 

However, since I AM a totally terrible blogger, (and there was that small little incident with all of my photos going bye-bye) I'm only just getting around to posting pictures from her first birthday party. You can't quite make out the banner but it says "Winter ONE-derland" Clever, huh? Thanks Pinterest. 

I used all of the monthly photos I took throughout the year to make a Lulu gallery. I loved looking back at how she's changed so much in such a short period of time. The three, four and ten month photos totally crack me up! 

Special thanks to my parents and siblings for all of their help in prepping and to our friends and family that came and made her first birthday so special! 

This last group of photos is a little series I call, "Oh, you're here for me?! Ooooo, fire! This is not bad... ABORT, ABORT!" 

5 Tips for Shopping on Craigslist

People always tell me, "Wow, you find such great deals on Craigslist! How do you do it?" And it's true, I'm a master Craigslist shopper. I've bought dressers, a dining set, patio furniture, end tables and lots of other awesome stuff through Craigslist. I thought that instead of selfishly keeping all of this wisdom and insight to myself, I should share it with you so that you too can fill your home with beautiful recycled things! Check out five tips for shopping on Craigslist below.

Parenting Fails

I try to be authentic on here. If this blog is nothing more than that, it is at the very least honest. With that being said, the ugly stuff in life sometimes isn't as fun to share. I read blogs and I see beautiful tablescapes (that's when a dining room table looks more like Martha Stewart pooped out rainbows and butterflies on it and less like a place you actually sit to have a meal.) I see perfectly styled outfits, food photos that looks so delicious you want to lick your screen, scantily clad ladies giving workout tips, and adorable little rosey-cheeked babies in adorable bows smiling and laughing for their semi-annual photo shoots. But sometimes all of that happiness and perfection makes me feel kind of lousy about myself. It makes me think that there are women out there holding it all together, looking fabulous, kicking ass at work, cooking gourmet meals at night, working out daily, and handling parenthood with the patience and grace of the pope. 

You know what? They're not doing that, and neither am I. 

If this blog, or anything I do in my life leads you to believe that my life is not a chaotic clusterf*ck of just trying to get through each moment of each day, then I apologize. Sometimes I make dinner and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have time to bake a cake but most of the time I don't. Sometimes I put together something that resembles a cute outfit, but most of the time I'm just trying to find a shirt to wear that doesn't have spit-up on it. 

My point is, it's messy up in here and if anyone tells you they don't have a messy life, they are lying to your face (or they deserve to be punched in theirs.)

So without further ado, and because I will NEVER claim to be a perfect mother, I'm sharing some of my most recent parenting fails.

1. Luisa went through a full week of daycare before we realized that we had never paid them for it. #parentingfail

2. I've dropped my cell phone on my baby's head... twice. That's how I learned what her "pain cry" sounds like. #parentingfail

3. One day I took the baby to daycare, dropped her off, drove halfway to my destination and received a call that I left her with no bottles for the day... #parentingfail

4. I've forgotten to change my baby's diaper during the day, I'm not going to share how long she went without being changed, because it's embarrassing, but it's also kind of her own fault. If she had cried or indicated that she was uncomfortable in some way, I obviously would have come to the rescue with a fresh diaper. #parentingfail

5. I have taken my baby to a few not-so-baby-appropriate places like to a movie theater to see Jurassic World and bars #parentingfail or #parentingwin? #youbethejudge

Tell me about your parenting fails!!! I seriously want to hear them, a) because it will make me feel better about myself and b) because they will make me laugh. 

You might also be interested in: 

• It's not all perfect, in fact, it's not even close
• Why women can't have it all
• True confession: I cried at the gym

Six tips to totally own this Thanksgiving

1. Properly prep your tummy. You might be thinking it's a good idea to skip breakfast and save space for all that Thanksgiving deliciousness that is about to come. You're wrong. Dead wrong. While it might seem counter-intuitive, you're going to want to eat a hearty breakfast when you wake up. This is going to give your stomach the proper stretching and digestion time it needs to be ready for the big game (and I'm not talking about football.)

2. Your attire selection is of utmost importance. It is perfectly acceptable to wear your dad jeans with the elastic waistband at Thanksgiving, or make a trip to the storage unit for your old maternity pants. Thanksgiving is not a time to be a fashionista, it's a time to go HAM and give your food-pit a proper beating. I'm not saying you should look like a slob, but underneath your nice blouse or sweater vest, you can be hiding the most heinous of strechy waist-band pants. For goodness sake, you're about to be carrying a 10-lb food baby, give that puppy room to grow! 

3. Portion control - no bigger than a golf ball! Don't make the rookie mistake of stocking up on mashed potatoes, turkey and stuffing and then realize that you still have 10 more things to add to your plate but only 2 sq. inches of space left. Stick to the golf ball rule, everything on your plate should be a portion no larger than a golf ball. I mean, I know green beans aren't the star of Thanksgiving but you owe it to yourself (and your host) to try a little of everything! After you finish your first plate of food go back for the things you loved and throw the golf ball rule out the window. 

4. Lend a helping hand in your own way. We're not all master chefs, and that's okay. If you have no place in a kitchen, stay out of the kitchen. In fact, I advise everyone stay out of the kitchen except the host until clean up time (otherwise you're just going to get in the way.) But, you can still offer a helping hand in other ways -- offer to bring ice or pies from your neighborhood bakery, play bartender, help to clear plates after the meal, buy a flower arrangement or nice candle for your host. Just don't be a waste of space. 

5. Adhere to a schedule. You might have a few different obligations on Thanksgiving. You may have to spend some time with the in-laws, eat dinner with your own family, and potentially drop by to see some old friends that are in town for the holiday... make a schedule for your day and stick to it like an Army Ranger on a special ops mission. My schedule will go something like this (I'm still ironing out some of the details) 

• 9:00 a.m. - arise to the aroma of herbs and turkey in the air
• 9:30 a.m. - indulge in a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon and toast - consider eating a piece of fruit but go back for more bacon instead. (see tip 1 above) 
• 10:00 a.m. - watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV while helping to prep food
• 12:00 p.m. - watch the beginning of The National Dog Show and pick out your favorite dog, continue to help mom prep appetizers and sides
• 12:30 p.m. - shower and put on real clothes (see tip 2 above)
• 1:50 p.m. - catch end of dog show, see if your dog won. 
• 2:00 p.m. - drive to in-laws' house (limit yourself to 3-4 bites of appetizers, nothing enters your "pie hole" at in-laws after 3:00 p.m.) 
• 3:30 p.m. - head back to parent's house, call and make sure they don't have any last minute grocery/errand needs
• 4:00 p.m. - indulge in some more appetizers 
• 4:45 p.m. - help to put out food and get everyone seated, say grace and go around the table so everyone can share what they are thankful for
• 5:00 p.m. - begin to load up first plate of 2014 Thanksgiving meal (see tip 3 above)
• 5:20 p.m. - think about going back for seconds - pick one or two things you really want just a little more of and put them on your plate (panic because you realize you might not have room for dessert if you eat any more mashed potatoes but say, "eff it, I'll throw up if needed to make room for pie)
• 5:30 p.m. - enjoy the silence at the table and the sound of loosening belts
• 5:45 p.m. - remark how crazy it is that you cook for two full days but manage to eat in less than an hour
• 5:50 p.m. - help to clear the table and set out dessert. 
• 6:00 p.m. - eat dessert
• 6:10 p.m. - men exit table and plop on the couch to watch football - women chit-chat and then clear rest of the table and start to clean up kitchen 
• 6:30 p.m. - uncle starts snoring loudly while sitting on couch 
• 7:00 p.m. - guests start to exit, you finally snag a seat on the couch
• 8:00 p.m. - change into pajamas
• 8:05 p.m. - pull out a game to play with family
• 9:00 p.m. - go to bed

6. Remember the big picture. Thanksgiving is a time for reflection and expression of gratitude. I know it can be stressful to be around your crazy family. I know your mom is bugging out because so and so is bringing a date and didn't tell her until the last minute and there's no room at the table. Just remember, no matter your life situation, you're luckier and more blessed than someone else out there. You have food to eat, a roof over your head, friends/family/acquaintances/frenemies to eat with. Hell,  I think you're doing pretty good. Let Thanksgiving set the stage for your holiday season, keep your composure and try to stay worry-free and most importantly, thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving homies!

Guest Post: 10 Tips for Survival (When Living With a Pregnant Woman)

It's time for another guest post friends! BryGuy imparts some wisdom for expectant fathers-to-be and demonstrates his love of gifs. 

Congrats...you are the father! That beautiful woman you are so in love with is now the host of your seed and the miracle of childbirth is forthcoming. Don't panic. Be cool brotha, because it is a beautiful thing. Yeah, right! It is easy for me to say that now, but I wasn't so cool when we found out. Of course, over the last 6-7 months my tune has changed and I am pumped to meet this little human of mine.

My response went from this:

To this:
I'm the man!

With that and 28 weeks in, I would like to impart some wisdom. There are some things you should know about living with a pregnant woman, so here we go. (Note: I am writing this before the actual birth to ensure no details of the birthing process are divulged. I'll let Marissa lead that discussion)

Valentine's Day, Shmalentine's Day...

VDay is just like...the worst. The cheesy commercials, the overdone displays in the stores with the ugly stuffed animals and terrible boxes of chocolates, and all the pink and red (which really is a color combo no-no, in my book.) 

I'm so over it, I wish St. Valentine would just pack up and go back wherever the hell he came from -- up Mr. Hallmark's ass, I think. Well B and I are boycotting Vday again this year. In the past, we didn't do anything because we always celebrated our "made-up anniversary" on February 1. But now, we just really have no good excuse. 

So, on Friday, you can find us sitting on the couch, ordering food, drinking a bottle of wine... each, and watching all 13 episodes of House of Cards Season 2. Doesn't that sound romantic? 

I suppose I wouldn't mind receiving a cheesy greeting card wherein BryGuy professes his undying love for me and vows to jump in front of a Mac truck to save my life, if the opportunity ever presents itself... wouldn't that be sweet? Hint, hint! I'd save it in my memory box forever and ever. 

Do you have any special plans with your Valentine? Are you going out to a nice dinner or keeping it low key? 

Happy 28th to me!

Yesterday, I rang in my 28th year of life! It was a marvelous day, that involved lots of love from family and friends via phone calls, texts, and Facebook notes, a few too many cocktails, and a feast of a dinner at a fabulous Philadelphia restaurant (a separate post on that meal to come shortly). 

I'm not going to lie, 28 is a little scary. I still feel like I just barely turned 21, but I guess I'm supposed to act more grown up and mature now. Lots of people my age are getting married and starting families, and while I occasionally experience a little baby fever, the idea of having a real live one to call my very own is terrifying! It seems like 30 is just around the corner and while I don't really fear the idea of turning older, I think I was in denial about it actually happening. 

What I really want to say is that I love my life at age 28. I have a wonderful husband, a career that I enjoy, family and friends that are supportive, and probably too much fun. I'm feeling really blessed and humbled by it all. I'm especially grateful for BryGuy, he keeps me young and smacks me when I'm being all girly about getting older. I knew I married a younger chap for a reason!

Also, in case you were wondering, my anti-aging secret is to eat one gold-plated apple a day. Oh, you don't have golden apples readily available? Too bad for you. 

Miss Manners - Part II

A while back, I did a post on the modern day rules for chivalry and manners and by George, I think it's time for a refresher course. If you don't recall, this is written from the perspective of "If Marissa ruled the world..." Clearly, it would be a far happier and much more orderly world if that was the case. 

Read on to see the rules for exiting a plane, walking on a sidewalk, and asking your friend for a favor. 

The top-secret secret to a shapely butt

Photo from Muscle & Fitness Hers

Shhhhhhh.... 

I'm about to tell you a secret. 

Honestly, you can't share this with anyone. This is just going to stay between us. If people everywhere got a hold of this information it would be catastrophic.

The secret to a plump, perky and perfectly JLo-esque derrière is..... wait for it.....

Babies on my brain

I've got a mild to severe case of baby fever. Oh, you haven't heard of it? Well, it's this condition where every time a miniature human passes by, you get all choked up for no apparent reason and you want to scoop them up and squeeze them and shower them with kisses. It's super serious and can be fatal. 

Guest Post - BryGuy Takes the Wheel

From Marissa: 
The other day, BryGuy says to me, "You're so cool, you have a blog and write about all the fun stuff we do. I feel like I'm just here, not doing anything with myself..." I mean, it's true. I'm significantly cooler than him. But I didn't want to make him feel bad. So, I proposed an idea. I suggested that he guest-post on my blog from time to time. This way you can learn a little bit more about him in his own words and I can take a day off. So here he is, BryGuy in all his glory.

From BryGuy: 

Thanks Marissa. Oh thank you thank you for being ever so gracious and allowing me to taint the sanctity of your precious blog.

Marissa gets so much love on this blog and I am just a mere prop she places here and there for her own enjoyment. I'm sure a lot of you feel this way and are thinking,"Wow, does BryGuy just sit there and watch Marissa do awesome things?" The answer to that question is YES. But, the few times I am a functioning individual, this is what I am doing (in no particular order):

Should We Get A Dog?

What do you think? Should we? I think I already know the answer to this. I have a feeling that you are probably going to say YES. I can hear it now, "But Marissa, they are so cuddly, and cute, and man's best friend, and it will keep you company when your husbands away, and it'll protect your house, and blah blah blah." I KNOW dogs are wonderful, I really do. 

My family had dogs growing up and they were awesome. Cody was super lovable, he had very little brain power, and he just wanted you to pet him or hold his hand. Seriously. He liked to hold peoples hands.... Abbey was kind of moody, some might even call her bitchy or a princess. She didn't like to go outside when it was wet and she was really picky about how her bed was set up, but she was super attuned to human emotion, like a little nurse dog. Both have since passed away, but I still think of them fondly.

Why You Should Watch Cougar Town Tonight

I really love Cougar Town. It's not just a show for chicks, it's a show for awesome people everywhere! Maybe my husband wouldn't approve of me sharing this with you, but he actually enjoys Cougar Town. 

Finally, the producers got smart and started to make fun of the name, because the name, Cougar Town, has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the plot of the show. So, it's understandable that it's a turnoff for some viewers. However, I highly recommend that you give it a shot, and here's why: