Guest Post: Summer Blockbuster Guide

BryGuy is back with another hostile takeover a la Gordan Gekko. It is only fitting that we start with a short film clip, because this is the inaugural Summer Blockbuster Guide. Big-time, high budget, explosion laden, CGI filled movies are as quintessential to summer as hitting on that older girl on the 14th floor during your summer internship and hoping against all hopes this thing can make it to Christmas (this might be how I met the illustrious founder of Marissa says...) Some of my favorite summer blockbusters of all time include Independence Day (duh), Mission Impossible's 1 and 3, Air Force One, Bad Boys II (also major duh), Iron Man and Transformers. Why not the OG Bad Boys? Unfortunately, that was released in April and just misses the May release date criteria of "summer blockbuster." But, we all still wanna be like Mike. Okay, here we go with the ones I'm most looking forward to this season.

Movie: Neighbors
Release Date: May 9 (what are you waiting for)
Why I care: I am honestly more excited about Zach Efron and Dave Franco than Seth Rogan. We all know Seth's chops. But, if the preview is any indication, Zach and Dave are flexing their comedic muscles - Zach almost literally. What sold me is their Robert De Niro impressions. Yeah, Taxi Driver is expected but Dave's impression of the Jinxy cat wielding De Niro is hilarious. And, for the first time in history both you and your girl can enjoy a film starring Zach Efron. "Welcome to the darkness bitches" -- my new tag line for the next 4.5 months.

Movie: Godzilla
Release Data: May 15
Why I care: Heisenberg a.k.a. Walter White a.k.a. The One Who Knocks. If anybody can take down the original Kaiju, it's him. Also, this film seems to do Godzilla justice, versus that terrible 1998 movie that spawned this terrible song. The movie actually seems like it will be scary. And, from the explosion in the trailer and Ken Watanabe's words on nature, the original themes of nuclear power and the unstoppable force of nature return. Ken Watanabe is also a bad ass.

Movie: X Men: Days of Future Past
Release Data: May 23
Why I care: We can all agree that the previous X-Men incarnations and their spin offs (i.e. Wolverine) pale in comparison to X-Men: First Class. I love how they layered the story over real historical events, and I have been a Michael Fassbender fan boy since Inglorious Bastards. The sequel marks the return of Fassbender, along with James McAvoy and Jennifer Lawrence. I have mild concern over the combination of both of the X-Men "worlds," and kind of wish they just continued the story arc of the last movie. However, this concern is waning as I see more and more footage. Plus, Tyrion Lannister makes a welcome appearance.

Movie: Edge of Tomorrow
Release Date: June 6
Why I care: You can say what you want, but Tom Cruise is a bonafide action star, and I always end up watching his films. I really don't care about the story line -- if I can get one patented Tom Cruise sprint in this movie, I will be happy.

Movie: Transformers: Age of Extinction
Release Date: June 27
Why I care: Summer blockbuster movie season is not complete without the king of over-the-top explosions and confusing, seizure-inducing CGI, Michael Bay. I think we all know what to expect here, but for those of us who remember and loved Beast Wars, we should be looking forward to the Dinobots. However, robots that turn into dinosaurs kind of clashes with the whole "robots in disguise" thing.

P.S. It looks like Mark Wahlberg is on a farm so this may be the one chance we have to see him actually talk to animals. Remember that SNL skit?

Movie: Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
Release Date: July 11
Why I care: Rise Of The Planet Of the Apes was much better than I had originally expected. The CGI was very cool and come on, a gorilla grapples with a police officer on a horse! In the sequel, young Caesar is a seasoned leader, has a better grasp on English and is decked out in warrior paint, so watch out. This film looks a little darker, a bit scary, and Jason Clarke was awesome in Zero Dark Thirty, so watch out for him as well. Also....Felicity!

Movie: The Expendables 3
Release Date: August 15
Why I care: Arnold.

Which one are you most excited to see? Did I leave any off the list that you're looking forward to? Leave a note in the comments below. 

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